archives college

confessions of a collegiate virgin

Aside from fundamental things like faith and family background, I would say that my virginity is a pretty defining characteristic of mine. Not that it’s my identity, because it absolutely is not, but that it’s something that makes me a little different from a large amount of people my age. I know that all throughout high school, I thought everyone around me was having sex except for me. I couldn’t have been more wrong, and the same holds true for college. While there definitely are students on-campus who are more sexually active than I am, it’s not something I notice or think about like I did in high school. Here are the reasons why I’m a virgin, why I’m not embarrassed about it, and why I’m staying this way for the foreseeable future.

1. I’m a virgin because: I am not comfortable with sharing such a large part of myself with anyone at this stage in my life.

I like to think of myself as a very independent person. I don’t need a romantic relationship to make my life good, and I’m not willing to settle for just anything or just anyone out of loneliness. I want a real connection with a guy, and I’m not going to force that just so I can say that I’m not a virgin anymore. In addition, I want to focus on strengthening my relationship with Christ until the right man to take my virginity (a.k.a. my future husband, a.k.a. Mr. Sarah) comes into my life. I also want to be in a good place personally to face the possibility of being with someone and sharing my life with him.

2. I’m not embarrassed to be a virgin because: I used to think that everyone else around me thinks my virginal status is weird—but it’s actually the exact opposite.

When I first came to college and the inevitable conversation about sex came up with some friends, I had no clue how to respond. I remember saying something along the lines of, “I have nothing to contribute to this conversation, because I’m a virgin,” and I was expecting more reactions of shock or surprise. My new friends were actually not surprised in the slightest, and didn’t care. It didn’t affect how they saw me, and they didn’t care that I’m less experienced than they are. It completely changed how I saw myself and my interactions with friends; I always thought that I could only relate to my friends who are also virgins, but it took this interaction in college for me to realize that it actually doesn’t matter. It’s personal, and it’s my decision for people to know or not know. It doesn’t change who I am, who my friends are, or our friendship

3. I’m staying a virgin because: I want one man to have all of my sexual experiences, from my first to my last.

I know this is what I want for myself, which is why I know I’ll be a virgin for some time after this stage in my life. I have dreams, and goals, and plans, but I don’t know where a man fits into it. And I’m okay with that. I’m okay with waiting for him because I know it’ll be worth it, even if he hasn’t waited for me. Sharing that level of intimacy with another person is a beautiful thing, and I’m going to be extra-careful about who I share it with.

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